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Looking back on 29 years

Ok, I intended to write this post as a funny, haha, I can’t remember anything about my life time line. While it still remains that I can barely remember anything under the age of say, 11 it seems I have a bit more to say about the rest of my years…

0-1: Um, I was born. Had needles in my head because I had a mystery virus that the doctors were never able to diagnose. (I don’t actually remember this, of course)

1-2: I was a baby. Learned to walk at some point? I’ve got nothing.

2-3: My brother was born. When it was time for my father and I to leave after our visit at the hospital I was not happy and made it known by screaming the entire way through the hospital, down the stairs and to the car. Of this I actually have a very vague two second memory.

3-4: Grew a bit.

4-5: Learned to tie my shoes…I think. I believe this was the age when my father’s mother died.

5-6: Started school. My primary teacher, Ms. Cox, favoured girls and let us get away with anything. (Not that five year olds do anything too bad). Me and another girl in class draw funny faces instead of paying attention, Ms. Cox notices and simply tells us to stop drawing without getting mad. When some boys act up later they get yelled at, I took notice of this straight away and knew the year would be pretty easy.

6-7: Still growing. While it’s not a memory it’s interesting to think that at this point in life I was not the shortest person in the room. This lasted for quite a few more years.

7-8: Grade two. A bit of a goody goody.

8-9: Grade three. This is the first year my best friend, Amy (who lived next door to me since we were new borns), and I are in the same class.

9-11: I have a few memories here, but they’re jumbled so I’m not sure exactly which years they all took place.

Grade four. We have a teacher, Mrs. Nauss, who did a very weird nose grab whenever she was frustrated. We all found this amusing and I think this is the first teacher my fellow classmates and I almost broke – down the road we will break two. This was the point when the goody goodyness stopped.

Somewhere in these two years my parents went to Spain for a week. We stayed with my (maternal) grandparents and were allowed to miss school for the whole week. My mother kissed a piece of paper and left a lipstick print on it for me (us?) to kiss goodnight and I did every night. I cried every time they called, which I’m sure made their trip. The day they got back we were eating kraft dinner with ham chopped up and mixed in. This was the first time I had KD like this and I loved it.

My mother’s mother died in this time, I think when I was 11. This was my first funeral and I was concerned because I wasn’t crying and I thought people would think I didn’t love my grandmother. I noticed my mother crying and that made me sad and I managed a few tears, but didn’t understand why I wasn’t crying more.

I got a perm. My hair was so thick that they had to use two bottles of perm solution. My hair looked awful; like a huge puffy triangle. As soon as I got home I tried to brush it out. When my brother and Amy saw me they laughed – rightfully so.

11-12: Grade six. This was an odd time when it was “cool” to volunteer to “do the garbage” at lunch time. The janitor favoured the boys and whenever it was them who did the garbage he would give them candy, us girls got nothing.

Me and all my friends tried out for the soccer and volleyball teams. Every. Single. One. of them made it, but not me. I was the only one. This fact put me off from ever trying out for a school sport team again. And even though I was not good (I was always a little afraid of the balls) I wasn’t bad. Had I made one of the teams I’m sure I’d have been fine and gotten better, built confidence and what have you. Even though I know kids need to learn lessons and that not everyone can make the team I still think that decision sucked. It was freaking elementary sports teams for crying out loud. Plus it meant I had no one to play with in the mornings when they were all practicing since, you know, EVERYONE ELSE made it. (I really wasn’t that bad, I swear!)

A girl in our class goes to Disneyland and brings back a pencil for everyone in the class but me. She did it on purpose and made sure I knew it was not an accident. This is a trend that will follow us right through our school careers. (To be honest, I still pretty much hate her even though we’ve been out of school for more than ten years.)

We have a class trip to Cape Breton. The parent who is the leader for my group sucks and makes us late all the time and miss out on a bunch of stuff. The thing I was most upset about missing is a secret game of spin the bottle in one of the other kids’ rooms.

The last day of grade six there are massive fires in Quebec (quite a distance away) and the skies are the craziest colour I have ever seen. The clouds and odd colours make it look like a tv set outside. Me, Mamma and Joseph go out for the traditional end of school year Dairy Queen Blizzard.

12-13: My uncle visits from Vancouver and brings my brother and I each a t-shirt (which I still have, 17 years later). During his visit the iron falls on my hand and burns a sunglasses shaped scar on my hand – this makes my too scared to iron for a few years.

I start junior high. The first day I wear a yellow wool sweater and beige pants. It’s still hot, but I wanted to wear my new school clothes. I soon realize that my wardrobe is very kiddish compared to the rest of the kids, but it doesn’t concern me too much just yet.

13-14: Grade eight. To this point in my life this is my best year. I suddenly became obsessed with the phone and boys and phone calls to boys. I got my own phone for my 14th birthday and spent many hours talking to whatever boy I had a crush on at the time. I also get a bit nasty to another girl who has a crush on the same boy as me and call his house pretending to be her one night. Unfortunately this was also the time caller id started up. He knew it was me the whole time and never said a word – this fact still turns my cheeks a little red.

I saw so many movies at the theatre this year. We went practically every weekend. I’m sure we were what kept the place in money.

14-15: Grade nine. Me, Amy, two other girl friends and two boys all decide to buy a bottle of rum, well we decide to pay an older kid to get it for us. They come back with whiskey, but we take it to the woods and drink. Amy and I have about two sips each, the boys and one girl each have a bit and the other girl had about half the bottle to herself. She ends up not being able to walk straight and we can’t keep her quiet. We decide that crashing another boy from school’s birthday party would be a great idea. His parents are home, see the state of the other girl and call the police. We take off and spend the rest of the night literally running from the cops. Amy and I split off from the group and Amy twists her ankle when we jump in a ditch when a police car goes by. When it’s time for my mother to pick us up we go sit outside the drunk girl’s house and wait at the curb because there is a police car in her driveway as she had been caught (and taken to the hospital to have her stomach pumped). Her dad is a fireman so we just say it’s a friend of his. We don’t get caught and I swear I will never drink again. The next part was straight out of a movie because I get the courage up to have lunch at the house of one of the girls who’d been caught and her step mother tells me she is not happy about the weekend’s events and, “I’m sure [drunk girl’s] mother called your mother and told her what happened.” To which I said, “Yes, and I got in trouble.” And that worked. I could not believe my luck. The next weekend I get home from being out with friends and go to bed. My mother comes in the room and asks if we had been drinking. We hadn’t, but I start to freak out thinking she’ll call one of the other girl’s mothers and they’ll tell her about the previous weekend. She believed me, didn’t call and this right here will be the first she’s ever heard this story. ::ahem::

15-16: We move from Upper Sackville to Lower Sackville. I start high school and have to take the bus with a bunch of kids I don’t know. The year only goes downhill from here. My friends all disown me, but I never find out why (I assume it had something t do with the Disney bitch.). I spend a lot of the year crying. I eat lunch in the bathroom stalls. I skip classes. I go home due to headaches a lot. I start to shake when the school bus pulls into school each morning. My grades are not good.

The year starts to take a positive turn in last couple months of school. I realize just how badly I was treated and that people actually noticed when the boyfriend of a new (well, we were friends a couple years earlier, but grew apart) friend tells me, “You don’t have to walk behind us, come up here beside us.” That still makes me cry.

16-17: A good year. I have good friends. My grades go up. I get my license at 17 and I’m allowed to take the car out that night.

It becomes painfully obvious to me and my physics teacher that I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing when my lab partner is sick one day and I almost blow the lab up when connecting a circuit thingamajig.

I spend halloween night coughing uncontrollably. Turns out I have pneumonia.

17-18: Last year of high school. I entered this year saying I was going to have fun, flirt (I was a bit extremely shy) and leave school smiling. I manage to do all these things and have the highest grades of my high school career. There was tons of partying and socializing and I had a blast. (Oh, and I had given up on the “never drinking again” thing back at the end of grade ten.)

18-19: I start university. I get my first job in a deli at the grocery where I make a friend who is 23. She invites me to a party at her house which is fun, but later in the night everyone decided to head out to the bars. I was only 18 and the drinking age is 19, but I went along anyway. I have an older girls id just incase, but I don’t even get asked for it at the door. I was so excited to be in a bar, but too nervous to order a drink incase they realized I shouldn’t be there.

My grandfather sends me, my brother and my cousins to Norway for a family reunion. On this trip I spent more than $700 on alcohol. (It was something like $10 for one on tap beer.) The trip was fantastic, but unfortunately I was so homesick that I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time.

I lose my job at the deli for taking five weeks off to go to Norway. I hated the job and, money aside, was not sorry about not having to go back.

19-20: Did not go back to university – it didn’t suit me. Decide to work for a year and get a job at Arby’s. It sounds like it would be a crap job, but up until the last few months it was a really fun place to work.

20-21: Decide to give photography a go, but I can’t just go into a photo program so I apply for Applied Communication Arts Program (ACAP) at the community college. I love it. It never feels like school because it is all so fun.

Leave Arby’s and get a job at a photography retail store, Black’s Photography. I feel good finally having a job where I don’t have to wear a hat.

I move out with a friend. It only lasts a short five weeks, but I had a really great time. Unfortunately my friend got a little too homesick and needed to go back home (to Cape Breton) and I couldn’t afford it on my own.

21-24: Is pretty well summed up here, but here are a few random things from this time.

Andy and I go out for a friends birthday while we’re iving in Port Douglas. This is a very touristy area and most places have a locals discount. At the bar I (the Canadian) am given the discount and Andy (the Australian who’d been living there for a few years) is not. I find this endlessly hilarious.

I go scuba diving on The Great Barrier Reef. Turns out I DO NOT like scuba diving, but I’m glad I got the chance. Later while everyone is viewing the video of us all diving that is for sale everyone laughs at me when I come on camera – including me.

We have a slight fender bender on a very dangerous road from Port Douglas to Cairns. It was TOTALLY the rich tourists fault, but we end up paying for it for the next two years.

24-25: Learning to be a mother takes up most of my time. My mother visits when E is born. I finally make some friends in Victoria through a mother’s group.

25-26: Andy, E and I go on a trip to Nova Scotia. This is the first time everyone in my family besides my mother gets to meet either of them.

We move to our second address in Victoria.

26-27: I’m drawing a blank here…

27-28: K is born. Joseph comes for a visit.

28-29: We go to South Australia for a mini vacation. I go back and forth on whether or not to have a third baby.(Still no at this stage.) I volunteer to be the treasurer at E’s preschool. Potential to move to Canada comes up. A few grey hairs also come up.

29: So far I’m one day in and everything seems good. I’ll keep you updated.

If you made it through this congratulations! You may have 100 bonus points to do with what you please.


10 Responses

  1. Wow–what a post! I did make it to the end, and I definitely learned some things about you. šŸ™‚

    Happy, happy birthday!

  2. You did way better at this than me. I laughed out loud at the 26-27 drawing a blank. Maybe too much alcohol is to blame, or maybe not enough.

    I’d love to know if your mother really had no idea about the drunk girl when you were young. I’d like to think that she knew, but didn’t let on.

    I made it through, although it took a total of about 30 minutes with everything else going on here.

  3. I am not sure of that specific time – I do remember not worrying about punishment – usually throwing up and hangovers took care of that. I do remember both of you at one time or another coming in “quietly” while I was “asleep” and just waiting until I heard the thumping of feet running to the bathroom and the resultant retching – at which point I would smile, roll over and drop into a peaceful and smug sleep.

    love ya

  4. This was awesome. Happy birthday!

  5. Awesome. I remember 98% of all of it. Sorry for laughing at your perm. But really, everyone would understand if you’d just post that picture! You failed to mention your career in cross country skiiing….I hated High School to if if makes you feel any better. Although I hate it more now, realizing what a hard time you had. I feel I failed you in not being there for you like I should have. I do remember feeling like everything was going to suck when you moved. Looking forward, you are my best friend, always have been, always will be, no matter where we are in this crazy world!
    xxoo Amy

  6. As for my bonus points……I used them for a new lip liner and eyelash curler………

  7. Woo, bonus points!

    Fun post, and the alcohol/running from the police story cracked me up. Including your mamma’s response. Ha!

    Happy birthday!

  8. Happy birthday!!!!!

  9. Wow! First happy belated birthday! I have been completely anti-social for the last little while (still chipping away at my Master’s courses) and missed your updates lately. A lot has happened in your 29 years. I completely relate to some of your stories. I wonder if the Disney bitch is the same person who made my Junior High/High school years such a joy. šŸ™‚ I remember the forest fire in Quebec (I was at a different Elementary school than you!) We were all freaked out, thinking that it was the end of the world… oh how young we were in Grade Six. Thanks for sharing, people can be so cruel in school and it does have lasting effects. Obviously, they have made you a stronger person. Sorry for such a long comment. Feel free to edit! HA!

  10. This was so cute!

    And the drinking story? You are very brave. I still can’t tell my mom about what I did as a kid. For some reason, I still think she might ground me. Heh.

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