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Signs I may have become too antisocial

While in the preschool office during pick-up time the other day the mother of a girl in E’s class hands me an envelope and says it’s for her daughter’s birthday party. These were the thoughts that ran through my head:

~ Is this what you have to do when your kid is in preschool? Invite the whole damn class to the party? There are 25 kids here!

~ Crap. Does this mean I have to invite all of them to E’s next party?*

~ Does E even know this kid? I don’t have a clue which one she is. I’m going to find out before I tell her about the invite because if she doesn’t? We are definitely not going. (She does.)

~ Even if she does I don’t want to go. Wait, do I have to go? Do kids go to parties by themselves at this age?

~ It only says “craft party” not birthday party so do I have to buy a present. F@#k, of course we’ll buy a stupid present for “random girl”.

~ I still have a few weeks to make up an excuse. I mean maybe she’s just inviting everyone so they don’t feel left out – I’d really be doing her a favour by not going.

I ended up telling E about the invite and she completely flipped and carried the invitation around all night. It’s on a Saturday so I guess I’ll take her, but what is the deal with all the socializing? We have a preschool “get together” tomorrow night at a local park. It’s not a fundraiser or anything, it’s “just for fun!”. E is freaking lucky I want her to be a happy, well rounded child because the only reason I’m willing to do this stuff is for her.

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*Seriously, though. Am I expected to invite her entire class to her birthday party? Does anyone else think that is nuts? There are two kids who she talks about all the time who I would have invited, but if inviting those two means the rest have to come I think E’s school friends will be missing out on the celebration.

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10 Responses

  1. I’m up at 2:11 am, sooooo….lol. You’re not becoming too anti-social, trust me!

    as mother of 4, (two adult, two adolescent) not a one of them ever suffered from me telling them whose party would be attended. I tell them, “Hey you don’t even know this person!”

    Overnight slumber parties for them were forbidden. At the early (especially preschool) parties, I never drop them off and leave. Always stayed.

    And their own birthday guest list only included 8 people(who weren’t already family).

    Not one of my kids died as a result of my rules. LOL.
    good luck mom.

  2. you never had all your class mates at your parties and neither did your brother. You turned out ok – only minor traumitization – but then again I am anti social so maybe my opinions aren’t all that helpful. Guess you come by it honestly

    love ya
    ma
    xoxox

  3. I just started the preschool in January, and we’ve been invited to and attended two birthday parties. I’ve talked to both girls before and knew who they were (as well as my DD), so it wasn’t a big deal. But yeah, those parties are crazy (both with jumping inflatables). I’m more afraid of my girl getting hurt.

    Do what you want to. You don’t have to go to every stinkin’ party. I don’t plan to.

  4. Invite her friends, but send the invites to their house. Don’t have her pass them out at school.

    I can’t tell if you’re anti-social because I am blinded by my own out of control social angst.

  5. Kids are allowed to invite other kids, other than their neighbours?? That’s outlandish!! I always had a jolly good time!

  6. This would totally be me!

    And froglette79 is right about how to handle the invites. My mom is a kindergarten teacher and she only lets kids hand out invitations (or valentines, etc) if there is one for every kid. Otherwise, feelings get hurt and drama ensues. She asks parents to find another way to deliver invites if only a few friends are invited.

  7. my kids went to a smaller pre-school and i did invite the whole class, but ‘whole class’ meant 12 kids.

    IMO, just invite the girls, that is always safe. You do NOT ‘have’ to do anything. I know people who have never had a birthday party for their kids, outside of the family get together.

    More advice…no sleepovers until 4-5th grade. let’s just say we had an ‘incident’ in 2nd grade with a slumber party. too young.

    One last thing, people are crazy so it doesn’t matter if you invite the whole school, someone, somewhere will get bent out of shape. now there is MY anti-social behavior kicking in!!!

  8. Froglette seems to be onto something there!

    Trying to be devil’s advocate here, I bet the mother of child X doesn’t actually want the whole preschool to turn up. She probably just doesn’t know how to discriminate at this point… I know that I wouldn’t be offended either way, as long as her close friends showed up.

  9. Some of the kids in my class invite all the kids, but usually the parents write me a note and I quickly and quietly put the invitations in their schoolbags without them noticing!

  10. […] Posted on May 23, 2008 by bente Remember a little more than a month ago when I wrote this post about becoming too antisocial and complaining about all the socializing the preschool seems to be […]

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