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**Warning! Warning! Big, complainy rant ahead!**

So, this place where I live is about 50% asshats. I usually avoid going into the “city center”, but on days like today I had no choice. Here are a few notes to some of the complete tools I share a general address with:

Council for the place I live,

I’m already convinced you are all just a bunch of chimpanzees drawing pictures with finger paints for city plans, but you still manage to surprise me sometimes. For instance when you have two busy, main roads, let’s call them First Street and Second Street, that intersect I think only you could decide to forget about a set of four way stop traffic lights. I mean who needs them when instead you can have traffic lights for First Street, but when you’re on Second Street and need to cross First Street to continue on your path you are faced with a left turn only sign (other side of the road, North Americans) and therefore have to do a complete blockie just to get back onto Second Street. Hey! Who needs simplicity these days? I bet our road ways look like a real work of art from an aerial view!

~Confused motorist

Old Doctor’s Office,

I can’t even begin to explain how much it upset me when I called to make an appointment for my husband a few weeks ago and you informed me that we could no longer come there. We’ve been coming to your office since we moved to this lovely city four and a half years ago! What the hell? I realize that you can’t control when all but three of your doctor’s up and leave, but it was still a shock. I suppose my anger should really be directed at the doctors who seem to be screwing with Victorians in general, but you’ve always been rude so there you go.

~Angry ex-patient

New Doctor’s Office Receptionist,

Hi! You’re rude, too! I was hoping this wouldn’t be the case and that the fact we were forced to find somewhere new to go for our medical needs would bring us some fresh, happy faces, but I guess I was dreaming wasn’t I?!

When I come in for my two year old’s appointment and give you her name, medicare card and what have you please don’t tell me, “Well, we have a four year old K at the same address as you have listed.” and then look at me as though I’m lying about either my daughter’s name or age. I mean really – that is stupid. Then when I tell you I have a four year old named something else please don’t act as though I have just single handedly taken down your filing system. This was the first time either of my children have been to your office so how could this be my fault?! Come on!

~Kind of frustrated new patient

Doctor’s in Victoria,

Stop effing around. Stay in Victoria and start bulk billing again. Because $58.00 for ten minutes? RIDICULOUS. I know I get $32.00 back, but there is a hell of a lot of people out there who wouldn’t be able to just come up with SIXTY DOLLARS on the spot (some weeks that is even me). And seriously the fact that I have to come into the office, pay for the appointment and then drive to medicare building TWO STREETS AWAY to get my money? STUPID.

~One of the many frustrated people in VIC

Medicare Lady,

Hi! Busy day? I can tell because when someone asks you if a lot of doctor’s have started charging more simply because they are curious and given what you do all day it would seem reasonable that you would know it is not necessary to SNAP back with, “They may be. We can’t control what they charge, though!” Seriously dude, I was just inquiring. Maybe you should take a break.

~ Me

Person at the street parking in front of medicare,

I don’t condone road rage, but if you honk your damn horn one more time when I am trying to get my two small kids in the car I will come over to your car, rip the horn out and shove it down your throat. And by the way? My car door wasn’t even going over the line into your spot so just piss off and park already.

~Already irritable mother so seriously, back off!

To any lazy people in parking lots,

Stop holding up a line of cars just so you can get the spot that family will be backing out of in ten minutes. Seriously! If you would just drive your lazy ass three rows back you’d be parked and in the store in less time than it takes to wait anyway. A little exercise won’t kill you. I promise!

~Anyone who has ever had to wait for you

Basically what I’m trying to say to all of you is this:

for bendigo

Have a super day!


7 Responses

  1. Surly medical people: not just for Americans anymore. 🙂

    Okay, it cracks me up that after all the bad stuff and the position of your finger in the photo, you’re smiling!

  2. Fuckin’ right!!!!

  3. Heh.

    At least you’re still smiling!

  4. You rock. Rants are my favorite. And thank you for the parenthetical note to North Americans.

  5. He he brilliant.

    Love the pic!

  6. The finger, the smile, the rant…it all made me smile.

  7. […] Anyway, what I’m trying to say is either stay at home and let your kids run wild or start paying attention to them. Oh, and please just refer to the photo at the bottom of this post. […]

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