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I am weird.

New 'do

I’m sure there are numerous things about me that could prove this title to be true, but today I’m just going to talk about one specific, not normal thing about myself: My ability to let my mind go to the absolute worst case scenario possible.

I know you’re saying to yourself that everybody does that. But seriously! The places and possibilities I let my mind wander to can be down right disturbing. And I can’t seem to stop. I mean once I’m doing it I can change my mind to something else, though that takes a lot of concentration, but I can’t stop myself from starting. It’s ridiculous.

I’m not going to tell you about some of the more disturbing possibilities today because that’s no fun. Today I’ll just take you through one particular bout of crazy. And away we go…

We only have one car and so most days the kids and I have to drive Andy to work and pick him up again at the end of the day. This is really no big deal, but it can be a pain in the butt as far as making dinner is concerned. One day last week I was making chicken for dinner and put it in the oven for what I thought at the time would be long enough to cook it before it was time to leave. Well, I underestimated and was left with the decision of what to do – turn the oven off and then come back home and start it up again making for a late dinner (on a night the kids were already destined for an early bedtime), or leave the oven going for the 20 or so minutes it takes to pick the mister up. I have never left the oven on before in my life. Ever. It just always seemed too dangerous. I don’t even feel all that comfortable leaving a crock pot cooking with no one around and that’s what half a trazillion people do everyday. Yeah, trazillion. Never-the-less I decided to go with leaving the oven on, but it truly was a huge decision for me. I was sure we would get into a terrible car accident, be rendered unconscious (or worse) and that the house was going to burn down to the ground and that Abby would be trapped and killed in the fire (but I had made sure she had at least four possible exits before leaving) while we were gone. So sure, in fact, that I wrote a note that said:


And it was in red marker. And underlined. Needless to say when Andy got in the car it was the first thing he noticed and he just shook his head at my explanation. Then on the way home I joked with him that if we did get in an accident and some one saw the note they would think I had deliberately crashed the car because “Who else does this? This is not normal.” And Andy whole heartedly agreed that it was indeed not the slightest bit normal to leave a note for the rescue team of your future horrendous car accident about dinner being in the oven.

And then I spent the rest of the drive home secretly coming up with my defence for the upcoming trial.


9 Responses

  1. Hilarious! The note is cracking me up.

    I would never have left with the oven on. That’s not a criticism of you at all, just a way to convey that I am similarly safety-minded. Hell, I won’t even leave the house with the dryer running…

  2. Now see, I would’ve worried about getting caught in traffic and coming home to a black, smoking bird in the oven. Did dinner turn out okay?

    This is too funny. πŸ™‚

  3. I don’t think I’ll be doing it again any time soon, Kalki. Way too stressful and really it is a dangerous thing to do.

    Traffic isn’t really something that happens here, not on a big scale at least so I didn’t have to worry too much about that, Sharkey. And dinner turned out great! The kids actually ate their chicken and meat is the hardest thing to get those two to eat.

  4. Not weird! Excessively brilliant.

    Although, had you crashed and I’d seen the note, I’d probably thought that you’d cracked long before you crashed. πŸ™‚

  5. Oh my word, that is so funny! I’m afraid of burning down the house, too. I have left the dryer going while not home, but never the oven. At least the dryer turns off eventually.

  6. Hee! This is so funny and so exactly something I would do. Note and all…

  7. That is a crack-up – the note?

    So, am I totally irresponsible? Because I have left the house with the oven on without a second thought. I’ve even (briefly) left with the stove on. (Chili takes long, yo?)

    But I have to say that you are outrageous. (Truly, truly, truly outrageous!)

  8. Yeah – see my post this week about our cat. I was CONVINCED she was going to have to be put down. I cried for two days I was so sure. Then the man brought her home from the vet and she was fine.

    She was a VERY spoilt cat for two days though!

  9. but here’s the thing…to be truly crazy you had to also think if you wrote the note, then were CARJACKED, then the robbers might go to your house and eat your dinner as well.

    I’ve got crazy to a science.

    (LOVE the pink hair)

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